April A B C in One Post

Addiction is what led me to recovery. My using [which includes the drinking of alcohol] kept getting worse. Never better. 
     Atheism is the end result of my believing. I came into recovery believing. By my second decade, I no longer believe in any sort of capital H Higher capital P Power. This seems to upset some people who insist that since I "talk to trees and nature" that I am "not really an atheist."
          I love Anonymous. Anonymous inspires me to hack my way into a better world. 

Brain Damage happened to me after many years in recovery due to a motor vehicle accident. The other driver was charged and convicted of attempted vehicular manslaughter. The brain I have now I named Briella-- still brilliant but a bit sideways.
     Birding was the first hobby I picked up after I stopped using. 
     Backpacking came soon after.
          My backyard is full of bees and I love them. 

Celebration: I celebrate every day that I am alive.
     I take care of my cats well enough. Toward the end of my run, there was one kitten that I knew was sick. Every day after work, I went out and got blasted instead of taking him to the vet. He died at the end of the week. I'm so sorry Sammy. I failed you. I cannot make that up to you. I can only do better with the cats that are in my life today.
     I went on a three week cross-country trip by myself and that was wonderful.
          Cory Doctorow is one of my favorite authors. He writes stuff that I can relate to. It's hacker-lit for me.

I have always loved dogs. The dog that was with me when I stopped using was ecstatic. I came home every day after work. I took him for regular walks instead of throwing him out the back door. We did stuff together on weekends.
     Dad came down with Lewey Body Dementia. Dementia sucks.
     I started doing digital art after my accident.
          Since my traumatic brain injury, I have learned that it takes courage to dream new dreams.

I used to have a bit of a problem with envy. I learned that anything worth having is worth working for. I no longer feel much envy. I'm too busy going after my goals to think much about what other people have.
     When I am happy, I sing along with my ear-worms.
          An e-reader gave me back the ability to read for more than a half-hour at a time. [After my car accident, I could not read for very long. With the e-reader, I can].

My grands had a dairy farm. I loved it there and I still miss the place.
     I got into having fish in tanks. But I wasn't any good at it. My housemate kept saying, "Don't you think those fish would have been better off if they never met you?"
     I switched to frogs. I love frogs. I have eight frogs right now. I've had up to thirty frogs at one time. 
          From watching Duck Dynasty, I learned the importance of family.
          My t.b.i. eye doc says, "Fatigue is the great enemy." That's true.

I used to manage group homes. I miss the people but not the agency.
     I used to go to the gym but I wasn't exercising enough there for the amount of food that I was eating. I gained a lot of weight during my time there.
          I joined a different gym in January. I now am striving to eat sensibly. I am not gaining weight this time. I do at least five machines and sixty to ninety minutes on the cardio machines five to six days a week. Although I have to nap after the workouts due to my severe fatigue, I like going to the gym.

I love herons and hawks. I've seen some really cool ones too.
     After my accident, I had a constant headache. I had to get blocks put in the back of my head [six needles on three separate occasions] to stop them. I felt so lousy that the needles felt good.
          I love my housemate.
          Hacking has taught me how to approach a problem logically.

Intelligence and intellectual pursuits are cool. I've noticed that there is substantial prejudice against t h i n k i n g expressed by some folks in recovery. I don't feel that way.
     Islands rock. I love islands.

I love jelly beans.
When I was in fifth grade, I discovered Jack London and I read every book of his that I could get my hands on. As a girl, no one was encouraging me. [It was a time when the topic of "electricity" was skipped over in the girls' science classes much to my dismay]. But I loved his writing.
I also read "Death Be Not Proud" a bit later on [John Gunther] when it came out.
     In Spanish class, I learned how to tell jokes.
          I like junk shops and fixing stuff I got for cheap.

We had a few kleptos in my high school class. I was a nervous thief and so I quickly quit that sort of thing. Plus one for anxiety.
     I was klutzy and last to be picked for any teams. 
     I hated kickball. I probably still do.

Laughter feels good to me.

I've been to Mexico a few times. I used to want to go live there. Now with all the violence from the drug cartels I've decided that Mexico is out for me.  
     I like the Old Quarter in Montreal.
     I've read practically everything that Mercedes Lackey has written. Talking "horses"? Yeah, bring 'em. 
          Monsanto sucks.

I'm a nature child.
     I miss New Orleans the way she used to be.
     I learned how to work on my self-esteem from Nathaniel Branden. 
          I love the ninjem on Twitter (r). Any ninja accounts that I come across, I follow. The ninjem are the ones having all the fun there. Everyone else is serious or fighting or both.

I've been known to over-eat [throughout my life] but I prefer to call myself a "foodie." I don't believe that obesity or addiction are "diseases." I consider them to be behavioral disorders. [I did the work and I am no longer obese].
     I have ocular-motor dysfunction due to traumatic brain injury. That means my eyes don't work well with my brain or with each other.
     O.V.R. was a complete waste of time for me. They've helped lots of [more traditional sorts of] people but not me. I dislike authoritarian approaches in general. They truly didn't "get me."
     I discovered Oliver Sacks and I love his writing. He is a neuro-doc with a heart. I'd love to have tea with him once and just talk about regular stuff but I think that won't ever happen. Drat.
          I am disgusted with the troubled teen industry. No one deserves abuse. Our teens are our future. So it's OpLiberation for me.

The phone phreaks taught me to play with technology.
     I have a "pagan soul" in me but no beliefs in any gods.

I like Quebec City and Queer Nation.

Regrets, yes I have them.
     I miss the magazine "Raw Vision." I like the artwork of the self-taught.

I dream in Spanish.
     I had fun in San Francisco.
     San Diego is a place that I can imagine myself living in. I love it there.
          Self-determination is one of my values. Too bad the recovery industry and the mental hell industry only give lip service to that idea.

I toured the Tuskeegee Institute. I never understood the big deal about Booker T. Washington and the peanuts until I went there and saw it for myself. The people there were real nice to me. If I ever get rich, I'd like to establish a scholarship so kids can go there.
     I love to travel, especially on trains.

I want to learn how to ride a unicycle.

Violets are pretty flowers. I refuse to have a "chemical lawn" because the crap they spray on the lawn kills the violets. Plus there is a bunch of other reasons not to do that. Besides, if you mow it all down once in awhile, it's green anyways. [Actually, I am working on killing the lawn gradually and replacing it with better stuff].

In recovery, I re-discovered the woods. Being in the woods clean is a very different experience from being in the woods blasted.
     Words have always fascinated me.
     Writing is my life.

Some people are xenophobic and some aren't. Xenophobia cannot be attributed to everyone who is against civil rights for all civils. 

I love yarrow.

Zoos are pretty cool. Many zoos are actually on the cutting edge of conservation. One zoo that I've been to, I thought should be shut down. [...Hello Utica Zoo with your plastic playthings for your primates]. The best zoo I've ever been to was in San Diego. Even the herps were happy. 

                        ~ the end for now ~