Monday, 26 February 2007
What is a tornado?
Mother nature doing the twist!
How old is your granddad?
I don't know but we've had him a long time!
Why was the Egyptian girl worried?
Because her daddy was a mummy!
Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
"We'll wake the neighbors."
"I'm not tired. I'm too awake to do it."
"I'm horny, but I'm not in the mood."
"We might wake the dog/cat."
"I had to much soda, and I might burp on ya'."
"I didn't have a headache when I came in here, but then you came in."
"I have P.M.S., yeah you can get it 2 times a month!"
"Get over it, you got it up, now go wash it."
"I should have told you this before, I'm really a man."
"Aliens kidnapped me and sewed both holes shut!"
This last one is just the kicks! This one is the best. The best one I've heard!
"Honey, My butt hurts."
©All rights reserved-2007- The words expressed here are the sole property of Elder RavenFire, and may not be copied, reused or reposted without the consent of Elder RavenFire.
Sunday, 25 February 2007
sapphoq itching for a coffee
Saturday, 24 February 2007
"I am a magic genie and I will grant you three wishes. But I am a New Jersey genie, and I also work for the lawyers. So you should know that what ever you wish for, every lawyer everywhere gets double. What is your first wish?"
The doc replies, "I would like a million dollars."
"It is done," says the genie, "and every lawyer everywhere has two million dollars. What is your second wish?"
The doc replies, "I would like a Porche Carrera."
"It is done," says the genie, "and every lawyer everywhere has two Porche Carreras. And your third wish?"
The doc thinks a bit, and replies, "You know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."