A Murder of Crows - Volume 16

Ok now I have seen it all! I received this snail mail from a company called Quick Click Loans {www.quickclickloans.com} telling me that I am Pre-qualified* {note the * of course} for an unsecured loan of up to 2000.00. {WooooHoooo! Yay Me!} with the simple note attached …

Congratulations! We here at QuickClickLoans.com value your proven financial responsibility and therefore have pre-qualified {note no * … uh oh!} you for a personal loan of between $1,100.00 and $2,000.00.

Everyone needs extra cash so at QuickClickLoans.com our courteous and professional loan specialists are ready to expedite your loan request so that you can receive your extra cash within 24 hours.

You can use your extra cash for home or auto repair, tuition, or for any unexpected expense.

Here’s how to get started:

From the convenience and privacy of your own home … blah blah blah … It’s just that Easy!

Personal Loan Guarantees – Fixed Simple Interest Rate. Your rate of interest will not change. Loans have an APR of 96% {I’m not shitting you, they list this outright like it is something wonderful!} - Manageable Payments / No Prepayment Penalty. Pay off your loan anytime with NO extra fees. {Visiting the site will tell you that there is also no reduction in interest rate payment due to schedule, so technically if you pay it off the next day it would have an APR of 35,040% which is technically worse than visiting Vinnie and Guido for all of your loan needs}

They then show you a loan schedule – 1,100.00 = 104.48 per month for 24 months {It was blazingly obvious to me just looking at that how pathetic it was, but for those that can’t add up it is 2,507.52 for the 1,100.00 you get} – 1,500.00 = 142.47 {3,419.00} – 2,000.00 = 189.96 {4559.04}

Approval in 24 hours. You can be approved within 24 hours of submitting your application. {Well fuck yeah, once we have the type of idiot we are looking for we don’t allow them the proper “thinking time” to get away!}

Money the Same Day. If you get approval by noon, you can have your money the same day. Except weekends and Holidays. {See above}

The fact stands as I look back to when I was young and stupid {as opposed to old and stupid now} and I wouldn’t have gone near something like this. I am trying to understand the type of person that would and it just doesn’t register to me. I have a hard time believing that anyone who signs off on something like this doesn’t completely deserve it, but at the same time I don’t like wanton criminals despite the fact that “the law” states that they are not. The mental anguish over things like this could be stifling if people took it too seriously, and I don’t. I take advantage of a mental defect that I happen to have which is the difference between right and wrong. I also happen to suffer from a mental defect which fully supports vigilantism. The advantage of that flaw is I self righteously do things that would fall in the category of “wrong” but convince myself that it is for the right reasons.

I was rather upset that this letter came without a postage paid envelope so that I could cost them money sensing it back with my condescending note, so I decided that I would have to have fun with their website. It’s the only reason that I actually listed their website address {which I usually don’t do because I don’t want to give free advertising} because I would hope that anyone out there with a little time on their hands would assist me in making their business a real pain in the ass. I’ll start by spamming the hell out of the militant Usenet groups with their e-mail addresses, and work my way up from there ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2008 .. The Crow's Nest

Dad's Dilemma

My dad is currently in the throes of a difficult divorce and may or may not be coming to live with us. I've spent the last week alternating between bouts of frantic cleaning/organization and vertigo supposedly induced by a "virus in the labyrinth of the ear" for which I am currently being forced to take Meclizine. Fortunately, I have found a housecleaner who was able to help. (And I plan to keep her on regular once a week as a result of all of this.)

Dad was supposedly driving up Monday or Tuesday for a day visit to check out "what's up there."

We spent Saturday driving around with Big Ed who helped up pick out an eight drawer dresser and a full-sized futon/bed along with two lamps. Big Ed also found a fellow to help unload the stuff. Husband put together the futon, lamp, and dresser-- rather impressive I must admit-- leaving me only the drawer handles to screw into place.

Sunday afternoon Dad called to announce that he was halfway here. I was instantly glad that we had set up the bedroom on Saturday. We scurried around like rats to scrap away the last remnants of sludge from the homestead. A couple hours later and still no dad.

The police department called. First thing I said without even saying hello was, "Is my father alright?"

Turns out his cell phone stopped functioning so he went to the police department. The desk sarge was good-natured and hunted through four log books before finding our address and phone number. We went down to the police station to pick up my dad.

Dad had worn a leather jacket. For years now I have been telling him that it really is colder up here but to no avail. We got him home and warmed him up and then went to a diner for a bite to eat. Husband lent him a warmer jacket. After dinner, we spent some time with the telly. The dog and the most courageous cat spent some time pestering-- I mean getting to know-- the stranger in the easy chair.

Dad slept in the bedroom we had set up for him that night. The next morning, husband went off to work. Dad and I went out to breakfast at the same diner, I gave him a brief tour of Hiserville, he shoveled some ice off of the driveway, and then he was off.

He doesn't know if or when he is moving in yet. I am not terribly interested in him spending another moment in the condo with my soon to be ex-stepmother but it is not my call. There was a bit of cognitive slippage that was noticeable-- "vagueness" is the word that husband used. I sure hope it is not some sort of dementia or neuro problem in vitro.

If it is, that just makes the whole divorce thing that much more horrid. In other words, dumping a mate because he got older and broker bites. Dumping a mate because he got older, broker, and may be showing signs of losing it is total suckage.

Oh, I know that it takes two to make a problem. After all, I am still my father's daughter. The only thing that stops me from telling my soon to be ex-stepmother where she can get off is my half-sister who is her daughter and really hurting about all of this.

spike

Whatever Happened to SpamBob

I don't know what happened to SpamBob, the site that allowed you to create an email addy with the "@SpamBob.com" (or .net if you wished it to be forwarded).

The great folks at BugMeNot have partially filled in the gap. Goto http://email.bugmenot.com/
to created a non-password protected email addy "@bugmenot.com."

I will miss SpamBob although I applaud BugMeNot for branching out in their services.

spike

Pre Approved Credit Cards - Yea!

If you are sick of getting pre-approved credit card offers, and other crap from Predatory Lenders then might I suggest a subtle way of getting even with them. I wrote this letter when I received 3 letters from Bank of America on the same day. One of them was to tell me that despite the fact that they rejected my credit application {that I never sent in} they had a program for people with bad credit like me. It was a Bank of America debit card that I pay a 150$ a year maintenance fee on. I was finally pissed off to the point of needing to be diabolical, as Bank of America will give credit cards to illegal immigrants despite the fact that THAT is a crime.

I devised this letter and place it in any “Pre Paid” envelope from an unwanted credit trawler that sends me anything containing a “Pre Paid” envelope. It not only puts a smile on my face, but you need to think of it as your Patriotic duty to stimulate the coffers of the United States Postal Service, and keep the costs down. It’s all about VOLUME my friends and I hope that any of you that would like to participate in this program to “GET THEM” back. Feel free to change the name, or leave the name.

Dear “Insert Name of Predatory Lending Company Here”

I am not actively enrolling in one of your schemes to separate me from my money, but wanted to send you this letter of Thank You, for determining that I am exactly the type of idiot that you look for. I am sure that Experian, Trans Union, or Equifax have earned their money that they had gotten from you to get my name out of its database as a certified moron. Heaven forbid that your wonderful company should realize that they have most of their databases totally incorrect, but who cares anyway?

In regards to your offer to separate me from my money, I have taken the time to deliberate the appropriate measures, to such a charming offer of an amazingly low credit rate, horribly high interest rates, and oppressive late fees and have developed this approach. I write a boring and condescending letter {that I realize hardly anyone will actually read}, use my 9.99$ a cartridge Kodak Printer to create the letter {at about 1 cent per dozen}, and use the paper that I stole from work anyway, to send you this reply. I of course am using the “postage paid” envelope that you have supplied to make sure that it costs your company money, and since I am sure your company will send me hundreds of these a year, it WILL add up sooner or later.

To further encourage the decline of your company profits I have also posted this letter to my blog {it’s unimportant really, but some really Predatory Lending Company friendly people will be reading it} and encourage any of the wonderful people that read it to copy this letter and send it along whenever they receive a generous offer to have their money stolen from them. It is after all the least I can do, as I know like yourselves, they probably don’t have time to come up with ideas to get even thank you properly for all that you do! Perhaps, in time, you all will be sitting on this end of a computer screen {if we all work hard enough on this end now anyway} and will need that little boost to get your own animosity towards people like ME out there in a more constructive way. Remember me.

Signed, your doting admirer, Jeremy Crow

Link

http://www.commiejournal.com/users/sapphoq/19624.html