Tuesday, 24 February 2015
What Happened to Aye Aye?
Aayisha had been in the local x.a. meetings for many years. She went back out after six years or so and then came back in for six more years. She was a gentle soul, the only one of my friends who was willing to visit my dad at our house-- some friends were willing to have me bring him to their houses though-- and the three of us enjoyed some sun-tea on the back deck one afternoon. Aye Aye treated Dad like he was my dad. Not like he was my Dad with a terminal neurological disease that was eating his brain. Not like he was my Dad who was escaping from his former life. Just like a regular guy who happened to be here. She gave him a rare gift that day.
Aye Aye earned six years of abstinence in the rooms of x.a. the second time but then she found another way to remain free from active addiction. Unfortunately, the other way was an organization which had the characteristics of a manipulative religion. [A cult, okay? The new words that are supposed to describe "cult" just don't do it for me]. I suspected that we had lost her several years before another friend did. That hurt.
Even so, a few good times remained. But then she stopped returning phone calls or answering her door. We knew she was home. She just refused to answer the doorbell. We were broken-hearted but there was little we could do about that.
This past summer, Aye Aye signed up for hospice services from the same place that helped my dad. She died in early February peacefully in bed with her family around her.
drama queen man: "Did you hear what happened to Aye Aye?"
me (beginning to seethe): "No. What happened to Aye Aye?"
drama queen man: "She committed suicide and police found her body in her car."
me: "Oh really. Who told you that?"
drama queen man: "Some guy told me. And he ought to know."
my housemate: "Huh?"
me (to housemate): "Information without names is bullshit."
drama queen man: "Her picture was in the paper and everything."
me: "Her picture was in the paper next to her obituary. Aye Aye was receiving hospice services. She died. At home. In bed. With her family around her."
drama queen man: "Wella--"
me: "If you spread that around, I will be very angry. And it isn't true besides. She did not kill herself."
drama queen man: "Oh you know me. I wouldn't do that."
But he was willing to make the claim to me. I guess he didn't realize that Aye Aye and I had ever been friends.
sapphoq itching for a coffee says: Before you open your fat mouth in the rooms of recovery or anywhere else about what you know, think is true, or what someone else "told" you, please consider your motives. Gossip is ugly.
Sometimes we do things to each other, in spite of our abstinence. Don't make my burden heavier because you want people to think who you are ergo you spread false information around.