Thursday, 10 May 2007

Please read this.

I am totally pissed off. I have been part of an email support group for three years. It is for folks who have survived traumatic brain injury. Now my posts to the group [not that there are very many lately] have been put on "moderated" status because of the e-mail address I use for the group ending in "" is my ten dollar push button domain that I bought a few months ago in order to stand with a couple of friends who were being bullied on-line. [Consequently, I also became a target, but oh well].

The owner of the group had originally written to me about others in the t.b.i. group who were writing to her because of their concern/paranoia that I am a witch, and/or the e-mail addy itself. I didn't save that short letter because I never expected it to escalate into this foolishness.
Excerpts of our correspondence follow:

Hi ________ ,

...It was another part of your e-mail that concerned mentioned something about "how many people have written [to you] regarding the witch thing."

Are you meaning the domain name where I get my e-mails now? [which was set up to help people who have been targeted by on-line bullies]. Or my personal beliefs? [which I am not asking for anyone's approval of]
Or something else?
I am not understanding why either should be a matter of concern.

I have been willing to set aside my differences in order to remain on the t.b.i. list by practicing
celebration of diversity to include those who are christian of varying political persuasions or
who are heterosexual or who have different views of medications and natural healing etc.

Please clarify this thing about witches so that way I may contribute to an orderly t.b.i. survivor list.
I have no need to hijack threats or to convert people [forbidden in my religion, actually]
and at the same time when an adult asks me on the list what is the "iq" part of "glbtiq"
I would like the freedom to answer the same without going into any sort of gross detail.

And I certainly am not willing to hide my spirituality just as I am not willing for anyone else to hide theirs.

At the same time, I understand what an undertaking running a list is-- especially of folks who do not necessarily have to be similar
to each other except for the circumstance that we happen to share the experience of living with a brain injury.

spike q.


Hi Spike,

...After a B.I. so many are "paranoid" when something doesn't "look" or "sound" right
and they get antsy and unsubscribe...go through the subscribing thing all over again....

...Now the "witches" thing is what I've had a few people refer to and they are
wondering why anyone who would be a "witch" would be on this list, and it makes
them paranoid. So, I was hoping that you'd keep one of your old email addresses
that doesn't have anything about "witches" in any part of it....we're trying to keep
some sort of "family" and "normalcy" on the list...

...For those like me who aren't aware of why you got this email addy, the
"resistant-witches" sounds more like a "cult" than anything else and I really
don't want to give anyone on the list any reason to "doubt" or "wonder" about the
T.B.I. group. It just "looks" like something they should worry about, you know?

...You may give some thought as to "why" people are bugging you...



Thanks for explaining stuff to this brain, _______...

...There are a few folks on the list from time to time with alternative spirituality practices
and it is for those folks that I will not go back into the closet of assumption.
I am what I am. And yes, I am a witch, and not even of the wiccan variety.
Part of dealing with a traumatic brain injury involves learning or re-learning how to live
in the world among folks who do not believe or think the way we do now.

...There are non-christians who come down with this t.b.i. thing
and maybe "ask spike" might also serve [in some cases, for the less jittery]
just as well as explaining that resistant-witches is an e-mail provider
or even that not everyone on the list is a christian-- depending upon who
you are responding to...

...[I will continue to]...leave my personal spiritual practices
off-list unless there is a compelling reason to do otherwise
[and there never has been to date]....

...Peace to ya,
spike q.


Hi Spike!
I did some thinking about how to answer you...and then
decided to do a search for "resistant witches" because you
"said" it was an I.S.P. server....[dots hers] it was not. What I found was your web site and found the "definition" of what you
practice...I also noticed that there was nothing about
"email bullies" , but only about witches and that you were tired of being quiet
(so to speak).

I also noticed that this web page was very "negative" and showed lots of
"anger." This is NOT what we are trying to pass on to the T.B.I. list either...
your...Yahoo profile page which is also very "expressive."...gays and all sorts of other religions
and polotics are being forced upon me, offensive clothing and such...
...but when a sex offender molests a child and is allowed to live close to
my neighborhood I don't like it...collecting welfare...I still have to fight for
my own rights. Fairness has nothing to do with it. As long as I live in
this country, I must abide by their rules...

...If you'll read the rules of the list once more, you'll see that "politics,
religion and sex" are NOT allowed...By letting you publically use this email name on this list you
are pushing your religious beliefs onto the list, whether you are talking about
it in an email or not. This is NOT allowed...

If my email address ended in, I would be in violation of the
same rules. You don't have to "talk" about your beliefs because you've already
made a "statement" that you are a witch and that statement is shown in your
email address...

...I think if you thought
about the possibilities, you would understand why this can be trouble for a list
like this one and if you cared about being on the list or those on it, you would
say "ok, no problem."..."Why" give them a chance to bring up this subject on the list?

...Your posts will be moderated
at this time until you get your email address changed...following the rules....



apparently i expressed myself wrongly.
resistant-witches is a domain which has e-mail addys attached to it.

i am to be judged because of an email addy.
i will not justify my beliefs or practices to you or to anyone.
nor will i justify the homepage that you found that is indeed
in response to internet bullies--
not "email bullies."
i have other avenues of support.
i am not defenseless.

furthermore, you know nothing of the situation at hand that
i have been dealing with.

choosing to exclude people whose email addys happen to end
or even in is your perogative.

i am also tired of assumptions.
spike q.

I unsubbed from the group. Fuck it.


Mare said...

First and foremost I am sorry about this, I mean I know this was important to you being apart of the TBI..but I also think I know you well enough to say that if that is how they are going to be then you don't want any part of it. You make a difference in people's life every day..every type of person and that is why I hooked up with you. If this group wants to take that and only foucs on the TBI fine..but that doesn't change who you are either. I still cannot believe we are still going through this crap and on the internet as well. Thank you spike again for making a difference.

Jeremy Crow said...

Some people have more issues then Sports Illustrated ... You are better off out of there ... doesn't sound like support to me *shakes head*

sapphoq said...

Thank you both for your support and your friendship. I treasure both of you.

spike q