Wednesday, 26 June 2013

These Truths I Hold

These truths I hold to be self-evident, in no particular order:

1.  Bacon tastes better than pork chops.  Peanut butter and mayo sandwiches with or without pickles are weird.
2.  Micronesia islanders used to refer to human burgers as Long Pork.  Not exactly the other white meat.
3.  Pot-bellied pigs are cute.  But I will not have one myself.  Not enough meat.
4.  Moose stew is tastier than dead cow.  And I love dead cow.
5.  Moose meat has virtually no fat on it.  Folks in northern Maine who eat only moose can and do become malnourished.
6.  Cactus in Mexican red mole sauce is delicious.
7.  Rattlesnake is chewy.
8.  Frog legs do not taste like chicken.
9.  Neither do rabbits, even with bread crumbs grilled on a barbecue.

10.  NSA spokespeople talking about Ed Snowden being charged with the same sorts of things that the NSA does on a routine basis to the entire world is nervy, to say the least.
11.  The NSA and other agencies have been doing this sort of thing for years.
12.  Other countries do not consider Obama as "He Who Must Be Obeyed."
13.  Just because Ed Snowden was in Hong Kong and a Russian Airport, it does not follow that he sold "our" secrets to them.
14.  Ed Snowden has refugee papers from Ecuador.  Ergo, he does not need a three-day Russian visa.  Just saying.  News media and government pundits: get over yourselves.  Quit reporting that a three-day visa is needed and lacking/ and running out.  Misinformation is not sexy.
15.  Bullying whistle-blowers into silence does not work.  Arranging for a fiery car crash might.
16.  If you are planning to expose a shadowy organization or government, make sure you have information to be exposed should you suddenly "go missing."  Ed Snowden was smart to do that.  I would have done the same.
17.  All the journalists stuck in Cuba for three days is lulz.
18.  I've never met food in any airport that was any good.
19.  Americans in general appear to be good at holding on to outrage when it involves our lives but not the lives of others.  Where is the continued outrage at the N.S.A. and Boundless Informant and all the other nifty little programs and protocols?

20.  I've only known one non-meat eater who was overweight.
21.  I was once an economic vegetarian.  I ate meat at other peoples' houses.
22.  Monsanto sucks.
23.  Growing our own food has become a radical act.  Who knew?
24.  Lawns are an ecological wasteland.  I've been trying to kill mine off for years.  As another patch of the accursed stuff dies, I plant wildflowers and foodstuff in its' stead.
25.  Grass [not the kind you smoke] is invasive as hell.  I've seen grass sprouting up in the midst of deep woods.
26.  Treating your lawn with chemicals is dumb.  If you mow it all down, it's green anyways.  The little violets and stuff mixed in with my remaining lawn makes it tolerable.  Those chemicals kill off the little violets and stuff.
27.  Newly treated chemical lawns can poison your dog.  The proteins in the chemicals combine with the protein present in your dog's pads.
28.  People who leave their little signs up about their chemically treated lawns for longer than the required 24 hours fool no one.  Especially irresponsible dog owners who do not pick up after the four-footeds in their charge.  
29.  Dogs are not meant to be vegans.  Please don't force your ideological principles on them. 

                               ~to be continued~                      

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