Tuesday, 18 June 2013

These Words Are Bad, M'Kay

...and you might be a terrorist if you use any of them.

Don't talk about eating froglegs in your basement kitchen.
Like beanpoles or peapods? you've earned yourself
placement and the food there is not bitchin'.
If you write a review or a book report about Oliver,
don't mention the Artful Dodger-- no, no, no.
That is also forbidden.  If you remember English Bob
and "Why not shoot the President?" in the movie Unforgiven,
you yourself won't be forgiven and you won't be forgotten.
If you like Bugs Bunny or Elvis then you are rotten. 
If a geek friend or your computer dies, don't talk about
them going up to the Eternity Server in the sky. 
If you like maple syrup or toffee, you'd best 
keep that to yourself.  But we can't say why.
So stfu or get ready to go. 

If you've been to the Blenheim Dam, better
omit that fact when writing blog posts.
Don't take pictures of egrets, bluebirds, or
cornflowers, and certainly no spooks or ghosts
Having a canine you call Cowboy or Aliciaor mocking Kiwis or talking about cocaine
will get you on a plane to a place like Gitmo.
If your hair is curly, or you're curious about meta-tags,
gamma rays, or NASA you'll be sweeping the floors
of your prison cell.  Curiosity defines the new
criminal rebels, oh don't you know?  Talk of coding 
and chaining and the Internet Underground 
is frowned upon.  Move along now, move along.
So stfu or get ready to go.
If you keep your money in a bank, have an in-law 
named Mary Smith, or remember Monica who 
didn't have the sense to send her dress to the dry cleaners,
the Enforcers will be around to investigate you.
If you like quiche, tigers, gorillas, or condors
you are royally screwed.  
Don't read 2600 magazine; that's on the list.
Don't talk about the F.B.I. or industrial warfare,
you're getting the gist.  Attending Defcon VI is 
just plain wrong.  Talking about credit cards,
redheads, or Anonymous might make you
an enemy of the State.  Worrying about privacy
or information terrorism will seal your fate.
So stfu or get ready to go. 

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