Some Days are for Screaming

I made it with my legally obtained art-ware. If you want to use it for some reason or other, right-click to save to your computer. If you are the copyright monopoly nazis, you are not welcome here. So go away. Far away. Scum.

     Yesterday, I listened to yet another person in recovery wax on about Robin Williams and his suicide. It has now come that he had been diagnosed with Parkinson's and that his sobriety was "intact." In other words, he did not relapse. That is to say: his suicide by belt hanging was not because he drank, used, got high, got blasted, lapsed, relapsed, slipped, or anything else related to addiction.

     What I listened to I found to be deplorable on so many levels. There was shrink crap in there about how "suicide is an irrational decision," some other crap in there about how "suicide is selfish," and some morose crap in there about "what about the children?". What about the children? Seriously? wtf.

     The particular children being referenced were all the kids who ever watched a Robin Williams movie and now the dude is splitsville, gone, not suffering anymore. The "children" will have to get over it and keep on living, just like the rest of us.

     I could not sit there and allow the person to spread false info without saying nothing. It is truly pathetic that some percentage of us who are in recovery [and long-term recovery at that, not newbies] relate every trouble known to human beings to addiction. Not everything is about addiction. Not everything is about us. 

     I wanted to scream. [See taggie above]. I wanted to scream because once again, part of the recovery ramble was about how addiction and relapse caused an actor's suicide. 

     One of today's gatherings featured talk about how a few people are faking it. They say they are abstinent but they are not. Oh really? I was one of those at one time, early on. I omitted talking  about how I was getting high on reefer a bunch of times and drunk or trying to get drunk a couple of times. I lived anyways. When I was ready, I stopped all of it. I cannot claim sobriety if I am high. I cannot claim clean time if I am drunk. I count my abstinence from the last time I had anything. Period.

     Yes, people do lie. People by and large do the best they can with what they got. When people get enough support to quit their self-destruction and enough willingness to do the work, they turn around. I am no one's goddess. I cannot "make" someone want to quit. 

     I am not their probation officer, their physician, their shrink. I don't have to become emotionally over-invested into who is faking the program and who isn't. Mental masturbation. Fun but doesn't really take any of us anywhere.

          sapphoq itching for some strong coffee-- black please. No sugar or cream or substitutes.