Tuesday, 5 August 2014

The Care and Feeding of Drama Llamas

     The drama llama is a hybrid of human being crossed with the obnoxious kind of interwebz troll. Known to hang out in such venues as chat boards, social media blogs, high schools, and extended family holiday dinners, their numbers are spreading. Like mythical dragons scorching the populace with their fiery breath, drama llamas make their presence known by their highly volatile spittle. Chronometer results of their saliva indicate the exclusive presence of drama. Even in the test tube, this drama shrieks and has been known to pierce more than one scientist's eardrum. 

     Drama llamas have been recently making their presence known in twelve step rooms. They stand up during a meeting and begin to pontificate loudly about how the world has done them wrong. The world is usually given a specific name of a human being somewhere who may have not greeted them with the profound respect they deserve, looked at them cross-eyed, sneezed in their presence, or made a joke. Making a joke involving drama llamas is the most serious of offences.

     The hapless chairperson is unable to shut up a drama llama. Pounding a gavel feeds the fury.  People who wish to exit the rooms to the relative safety of the parking lots and streets find their way blocked by a pacing beastie and their admirers. The wrath of a drama llama is most serious business.

     While the drama llamas occur in all stages of recovery, their hapless admirers usually have less than a year in. The fans punctuate the performance of a drama llama in full regalia with shouts of "Amen," "Tell it," and "Free yourself." Once the fans begin to add to the ruckus, the atmosphere of recovery implodes.

     Here are some suggestions for the involuntary audience of a drama llama:

1.  Don't make eye contact.

2.  Don't join the fans.

3.  Don't nod in agreement with any valid point.

4.  If you are able to exit safely, do so.

5.  Crowding into a locked bathroom or climbing out the window is permitted. 

6.  Restrain your impulses to curse out a drama llama.

7.  Killing or maiming a drama llama-- regardless of how justified such action may be-- will only result in you becoming their legal victim. Hands off!

     Once a drama llama has converted meeting space into a stage, it is too late to restore the atmosphere of recovery until the next meeting. The only piece of good news is that the drama llama is likely not to attend a meeting in the same place for several days, years, or lifetimes after his or her performance. For that, you can be grateful.

sapphoq itching for a coffee says: Drama llamas are frustrated folks who have never been discovered and whisked away into stardom. Falling into the trap of believing that you are part drama llama yourself because you object to them holding a meeting hostage is not accurate thinking. Sometimes, people really do exhibit strange or injurious behaviors independent of your own personal flaws and liabilities.   



If that does not work, the direct link is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djtYkAb2dmA



1 comment:

Chrystal Mahan said...

Drama is just ugly all the way around.