Tuesday 11 August 2015

Damn He Was Bookin and then BOOM

Remember back in the day when the fastest thing known to mankind was something we affectionately called “bookin?” I mean when you simply dug down deep and were running faster than the human mind could possibly comprehend your friends would label it with the “bookin” tag, but more often than not you were explaining how you personally were “bookin” and then it was usually followed by something bad. “Man I was bookin, and then the neighbor’s dog came out of nowhere and BOOM! I swerved and hit that tree!” Friends would commiserate with you about that rotten dog, and how lucky the tree was to still be standing.

There were other forms of “bookin” that had to be explained a little differently of course. Your friend that was a little on the pudgy side (of course back when I was a kid you would have called them fat, but the Politically Correct police are everywhere these days) was doing something called “truckin” and even though it wasn’t as fast as “bookin” (of course) it was a heck of a lot more dangerous. “Man Spanky was just truckin along and the neighbor’s dog came out of nowhere and BOOM! They buried the dog last night,” and of course there was “screamin” which was the really skinny person version. “Man Alfalfa was screamin along and the neighbor’s dog came out of nowhere and BOOM!” then you would all meet at the hospital to see how Alfalfa was doing.

Nobody really talks about these things anymore. I mean old farts like me sit around and act like the youth today doesn’t understand what it was like to walk to school five miles in a hail storm up hill, then learn about how Carter didn’t mean to make it so you couldn’t afford candy anymore, and then walk home 5 miles in a hailstorm up hill. You couldn’t do any bookin in a hailstorm or uphill silly, but you look at these kids today and they don’t even comprehend the concept of bookin or truckin or anything that doesn’t happen on an X-Box. Maybe that’s the problem, we need to explain to them how important it is to do some bookin (or truckin) now and again so that they don’t get too lethargic? Now kids get on a school bus that drives them across the street to the school, then at the school they don’t even play on huge wooden structures loaded with used tires, because they are unsafe! Hailstorms cancel school.

I’m amazed actually that there is any bullying going on in school anymore, because that would take some effort. When I was a kid I went to school, the school bully beat me up and took my stuff, and it was a valuable life lesson. Don’t bring stuff to school and cover your face. Today it is all about teasing, and writing nasty things about each other. How the hell do we train politicians if this is the considered bullying? Maybe if the kids did some more bookin (or truckin) and a little less sitting online (between X-Box exercise) then the participation trophy world we live in could accommodate more people going out and getting a job and less time sitting on a corner complaining about student loan debt. Oh wait, we don’t teach kids to succeed or fail anymore, we teach them to gather up the participation trophy, and complain about name calling to their shrink. I give up. I’ve become my worst nightmare, my grandfather.