The Stoopid 1/14/08

The ill-tempered man was walking his two little dogs around the abandoned school. I am supposed to believe that they were both on lead at the time of this incident. To me from the distance, one looked like it was on lead. The other I couldn't tell except to say that if it was on a lead, it must have been one of those horrible retractable things.

(F.Y.I. This particular abandoned school borders on some woods. Many people run their dogs there. This is common and acceptable behavior among the townsfolk. The cops don't care. Actually, the cops here don't care about much but that is another story in and of itself, having had several examples of their laissez-faire in my own life.)

My dog and her doggie friend the daemon dawg (mother-in-law's little terrier terror who genuinely loves me cuz I take her running several times a week) tore off to meet the cute little dogs. The foul, petty, little man was afraid of my dog (mid-size) and the daemon dawg (small).

He was yelling at me as I and my cane came up the side of the school building. Normally when meeting other dogs at the abandoned school, there is a quick "Is your dog friendly?" followed by a bit of pointing and the words, "Very friendly. Fixed." My dog is so friendly that dogs that usually fight other dogs don't fight with her. (The last dog did not care for his butt getting sniffed and that led to some rather uncomfortable and intricate situations).

man: "There is a dog law around these parts."
me: "The dogs are under my voice control."
man: (Trying to hit the smaller dog with his plastic shovel and not succeeding) "Some control."
me: (My dog went and sat on the curb. The daemon dawg who was the object of the attempted murder sensibly backed away from the dickless man and sat next to my dog.) "Mister, I am not in the mood to argue with you."
man: (the daemon dawg now a safe distance away from the man barked at him exactly three times) "Some control..blah blah blah..."

The dogs both ran back to me then and so we continued in a direction away from the disturbed man who should be locked up in the state mental place. In my unasked for opinion, he was afraid of all dogs except for his. I did not indicate anything further to the man who appeared to be looking for an argument for whatever reason which I could not ascertain.

The dogs were under my voice control. Just that my voice didn't tell them to do anything. They both handled themselves very well. and I was proud of the daemon dawg in particular who in times past would not have handled herself so well. Seriously though, I have been able to call my dogs (the one I own now and several others) off of a deer in the woods. That is pretty good voice control.

I do understand that technically my dog and the daemon dawg should not have run off to meet two potential doggie friends. Technically, he was correct. I know this. I can even accept this although I don't like it. I also understand that swinging at a small dog with a plastic shovel makes one look idiotic. I cannot say that a defense of "It's against the dog laws to attempt to hit a dog" would hold any weight since the jerky man could claim he was afraid of nine whole pounds of dog flesh. But I digress. And any reasons behind his bad behavior is not my business. And his bad behavior does not excuse my bad behavior. I chose not to argue with him because he was a troll of the f2f variety.

So I have plans. I am going to locate the whistle I have somewheres around here-- it is very shrill being one of them rescue-me type whistles for when one is lost in the woods-- and do a bit of training with both dogs in the fenced-in area there which used to be a ball field. I am going to teach them to come back at the sound of the whistle. Yup, sounds like a great plan. The dogs love training and I love doing it. Using the whistle will save on my voice which is rather soft even when projected. And that could also be useful in the woods as well.

spike

If I Were Meme

snitched from xo_tara_xo_

1. If you were a shoe, what would you look like?
Canvas Hi-tops

2. If you were a t-shirt, what would you say?
Civil rights for all civils.

3. If your house caught on fire and was burning to the ground...what is the one thing you'd save and why?
I've been in a house fire. Basically, there is no real time to collect stuff or to go back in. Best thing to do is just to "Get Out." The stuff one loses can never really be replaced. Still, it is better than dieing.

4. If you were a book...would you read yourself?
I don't know what that means. I would have to be a talking book, right? If I were an actual regular book though, I would be any one of the Discworlds by Terry Pratchett. If I had to be a character in a book, I would be Death from the same series so I could SPEAK IN ALL CAPS just like that.

5. If you could do anything at all (without consequences), what would you do?
I would go back to smoking pot daily and add also hash and opium. Unfortunately, I cannot use drugs safely. (Sigh).

spike

Blessed Trinity

The professionals hand out boxes to all of us. The boxes have covers but we know that there are rainbows in our boxes. We can hear the rainbows twirling around and making giggly noises.

The professionals tell us, "You all need to quiet down and listen to our instructions."

"Fuck your instructions!" someone yells. "You professionals are the stoopids," adds another.
"Your behaviors are unacceptable," the professionals chant together. "You both need a ten minute time-out."

The two go to their time-out chairs smiling, because the rainbows in their boxes are now tap dancing and singing a rather risque drinking song.

The time-out is over. Before the professionals can stop us, we all run to the barred windows. The youngest in the group opens all the windows.

We let the rainbows out of our boxes. They escape through the slits and blow kisses at us as they fly away.
We return to our seats and sit quietly in awe and wonder.

The professionals pass out M&Ms because we are now sitting quietly with our [now empty] boxes and no longer arguing with them about the contents.

Or:
The autistic youngster wants to reach for something and can't manage it so he uses the arm of a friendly adult to get it.
The standard issue kid whines and throws a temper tantrum and maybe climbs up on the furniture and breaks a leg.

Or:
Those that accuse us of not having this other mind thing don't recognize that we do. We are quiet about it. And we are free from the compulsion to arrange the environment into socially acceptable small talk.

spike

Monday MemeDay of Spice

snagged from Live Journal buddy idiotgrrl

Your Score: Juniper Berries

You scored 75% intoxication, 50% hotness, 100% complexity, and 75% craziness!

You are Juniper Berries!

You're a drunk. No, really. Cool it with the hooch. I used to be fermented but then I got tired of throwing up! -spike

Just kidding. You're really good at adding flavor to boring old life. You can be astringent at times, but once the harshness passes, you're quite relaxing. And you smell good, too. Okay, I like this one. -spike

Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

sapphoq's predictions for 2008

or, if Jeanne Dixon and

nebris

can do it, then dammit so can I...

JANUARY: Part of downtown Jerusalem will be destroyed by bombing.
FEBRUARY: Pakistan will become a bloodbath. The elections will be fixed. People will riot and be shot to death by the militia on the streets.
MARCH: Pope Benedict will make some asinine proclamation about all scientists who are Roman Catholic must follow his dictates at their jobs and not engage in stem cell research or genetic research.
APRIL: An outbreak of botulism will occur in Atlanta, Georgia.
MAY: President Bush will have surgery for inflamed hemorrhoids.
JUNE: Jimmy Carter will die in his sleep.
JULY: O'Hare Airport in Chicago will be forced to close for three days shortly after the fourth of July due to a bomb threat and the finding of a suspicious substance by a bomb dog named Boozer or Hoosier.
AUGUST: Britney Spears will die from blood poisoning. Traces of heroin will be found in her system and five empty bottles of whiskey in her hotel room next to her bed and in a drawer.
SEPTEMBER:
OCTOBER: News of the impending divorce of Hill the Pill and Bill will be leaked to the public in spite of precautions to keep it a secret.
NOVEMBER: The Republicans/Conservatives/Dominionists will win the election which shall be close.
DECEMBER: Sinead O'Connor will get married and no one will give a shit.

spike

I remember reading Jeanne Dixon's predictions at the end of every year for the next one in the newspapers. Her track record wasn't all that good and I suspect mine won't be either.

sapphoq on life