Holidays and Holidaze

     Since I first got clean, people have been complaining and whining about "the holidays." I did too. At some point, I got over it but a few others perhaps did not. Recovery is as easy or as hard as we make it. 

     Here are some things you can do in order to not have meltdowns over a time of year that can be enjoyed or ignored rather than feared:

1. If you don't like a holiday or don't think you can manage to stay abstinent/ clean/ dry/ sober, then cancel it.
     * Not recommended if you have children. *
     
You can always visit the relatives the day after for leftovers.

My best Thanksgiving was the one I spent in the woods with my dogs and a couple of hiking buddies. For a meal, we heated up cans of turkey vegetable soup in a fire that we built in the snow.


2. You can volunteer at a soup kitchen or other place that is serving meals to those who need one. This just may get you out of yourself long enough to understand that not everything ought to be about you now that you are in recovery. You can take a newcomer with you to volunteer.

My elderly father volunteered in a soup kitchen on Christmas one year. He has Lewy Body Dementia but at that time he was able to manage being a volunteer for the day. He enjoyed himself immensely.


3. You can ask to work so that some other co-worker can have the day off.

I have specifically asked to work holidays and I enjoy doing it. This is another way of giving.


4. You can go Christmas caroling around the neighborhood or sign up to visit a nursing home or hospital on a holiday. Bringing in a simple program-- story-telling or singing-- is much appreciated there. You can take a newcomer with you.

A bunch of acquaintances and I did this one year in several neighborhoods. We had loads of fun. No one turned us away.


5. If someone wishes you a "Merry Christmas" and you celebrate something else or nothing, it really does not hurt you to wish them a "Merry Christmas." Same goes for Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice, and Saturnalia. Recognizing people in the ways that they wish to be recognized does not diminish you as a human being.

I am an atheist and I do this. (I understand that some people will boycott stores whose employees are required to say "Merry Christmas." That is a matter of choice). Not everything that people say to each other has to be perceived of or ought to be perceived of as a personal affront.


6. You can go to a meeting if that is something you do for your recovery. You can take a newcomer with you. 

For those who attend meetings, why not? 


7. You can go to a clubhouse or other place that has an alkathon or narathon. You will find meetings there. Maybe even some food, games, and friendly faces. You can take a newcomer with you.

I've spent several Thanksgivings and Christmases doing this and I had a blast.


8. Instead of worrying that your Thanksgiving or Christmas will not be perfect, you can participate in a food or clothing or toy drive in your neighborhood. Instead of buying presents for other adults, you can give stuff away to the less fortunate. If you have your own computer, you probably have an extra coat or sweater kicking around in your closet. Or you can host your own dinner and invite people who don't have a place to go for the day.

Dad taught me early on to pick out gently used toys for the kids in a local orphanage. Yes, it is wonderful to be able to give to others instead of focusing on my hang-ups or have nervous attacks over something that is supposed to be fun.


9. If you decide to brave being with family or friends who are not in recovery, you can grab a cup of coffee (or tea or hot chocolate or a combination of cranberry and orange juice warmed up in a microwave) instead of relapsing. You can also make an excuse and leave if you really must. You can call your sponsor or someone else in the rooms.

A cup of coffee reminds me of my recovery because I first started drinking coffee in recovery.


10. You can start your own traditions.


sapphoq itching for a coffee says: At all times, it helps me to remember why I am doing whatever I am doing. This includes family gatherings at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other times of the year. When I get self-absorbed, I forget that not everything is "all about me." Because it really isn't. Just saying.

Thanks to #AddictionChat on Twitter for an excellent discussion about the holidays last Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST.

Medical Marijuana is Oh So Scary a Prospect-- NOT

The following is my opinion and my opinion only. Because I do not cite any references, it is characterized as a rant rather than an essay. Thanks.

Wednesday night, I participated in #AddictionChat on (tm) Twitter. Addiction Chat begins at nine p.m. eastern and goes for one hour. There is usually a single topic. Participants answer a series of ten questions.

The topic was medical marijuana. It became apparent that the majority of the people who stated that they are in recovery expressed sentiments which indicated that medical marijuana was a bad and evil thing. While I respect the idea that dosages may vary within plants, I do not really understand why a smoke-able treatment for pain relief is any more threatening than say, chemo therapy for cancer patients. Chemo is loaded with painkillers. Cancer is painful. When there is no longer a reasonable hope for a cure, chemo becomes palliative. Palliative treatment is given so that the patient can be kept as comfortable and as pain-free as possible.

A compassionate society would want superior treatment of pain for its' members. To deny a child stricken by leukemia something that alleviates suffering is barbaric. To deny a cancer patient relief from nausea sucks. (Other examples also abound). We people in recovery cannot afford to be the police of the world. If someone in recovery has an illness and is being treated for pain with medical marijuana or chemo or any other pills or procedure, that is between that person and his or her healthcare treatment team. I myself would not be able to comfortable take medical marijuana, however, I certainly would not deny myself chemo because "chemo is loaded with painkillers." These things are individual choices.

Generally, I do subscribe to the thought that someone cannot be stoned on marijuana or another recreational (street) drug and claim sobriety. Likewise, the person who recognizes his or her addiction to alcohol yet abuses prescription medication ought to examine their actions and justifications.

It is a far jump from "someone cannot be sober and stoned" to "someone who is suffering from debilitating pain ought not to take any substance prescribed by his or her medical doctor because I am uncomfortable with that." I am not a physician. Even if I were a physician, I do not have a medical relationship with everyone who enters a recovery meeting.

Another objection was that [unnamed studies are already showing] that people who are legally prescribed pot are giving it to high school kids and thus with increased access there is increased use. I think that if a high school kid wants to get stoned, there are other ways to get it besides from someone who is undergoing pain management. Then there is also the idea that the majority of people who use any specific drug or drugs do not become addicts. Just because marijuana may be available, it does not follow that the rates of addiction will automatically go up. There was also some notion about marijuana interrupting brain development in adolescents. I am also not sure about the veracity of this, having not examined the [unnamed] study or studies. 

Another question referred to how the dialogue may change if marijuana is legalized altogether rather than just when medically indicated. The dialogue does not change for me. The rationalization that if pot is legal, more people in early recovery will justify its' use does not ring true. Sometimes a person may not be willing to give up everything all at once. (Some percentage of people in recovery do not give up tobacco, overeating, or gambling right away if at all). For those who are not willing to give up everything at once, harm reduction may be a viable treatment option.

I believe that marijuana should be legalized (or at the very least its' use ignored). Those of us in recovery cannot use pot safely. It does not follow that no one should be allowed to use pot at all. The drug war is a failure. Crackdowns on trafficking has not appreciably diminished the flow of drugs entering this country. Those who commit criminal offences while under the influence of alcohol or any other drug (and get caught) are subject to laws already on the books. Those who do not commit criminal offences while under the influence of alcohol or drugs should not be penalized legally. If use of any intoxicant interferes with someone's life, that adult is free to seek counseling and/or other treatment options. If not, then I do not 'get' what the problem is.

sapphoq itching for a coffee