Unity or Uniformity

     Twelve step programs-- although very much retaining the monopoly on what the majority of American treatment and rehabs offer in terms of how to maintain abstinence-- may not be the best fit for every patient or client or participant seeking to get free from addiction. This is something that we often ignore while bemoaning those who have darkened the doorways of 'our' meetings [and 'our' treatment facilities, if we happen to be staff at one of them] who went back out or continued to use. We are so fond of claiming that various addictions are now a disease of some sort. 

     What kind of people are we when we blame the patient for failing to gain or regain health after one or more bouts with a disease?

     When a cancer patient gets sicker and dies in spite of the chemo or radiation, do we blame the patient?

     When someone gripped in the natural course of a non-reversible dementia progresses and dies in spite of medical interventions, do we blame the patient?

     And yet, the addict seeking help is blamed for his or her return to active addiction. [I use addict to also include those who are addicted to alcohol]. What gives? Maybe we don't really believe in the disease concept. [Okay, I don't. I don't claim acceptance of the disease concept which seems to have swept the addiction treatment industry by storm].

     The problem does not lay in how we define addiction. Whether it is a medical condition with multiple etiologies and a disease-like progression, an actual disease, something else entirely, or a combination of these things is not something that I am taking issue with in this particular blog post. 

     While how we define addiction certainly does determine whether or not insurance companies will pay for treatment, it is not really at the crux of the problem. The problem is the low success rate ascribed to addicts seeking recovery. When making a decision related to my health, I seek out more than one option. And when the success rate for an option presented to me is described as anywhere from ten percent to just under thirty-four percent, I certainly do my research. I want the odds to be in my favor. In cases of severe and/or chronic and/or terminal diseases or conditions, there may not be better odds or very many viable options. Science offers us the opportunity to discover and describe best practices in medicine.

     In the United States, I think what we are suffering from is a lack of rigorous research into the multiple causes of addiction, treatment options, and how to determine the best fit for each client or patient. Twelve step programs have aided many of us in changing our lives thereby enabling us to become and remain abstinent. Yet, some percentage of people fail out of meetings with or without adjunct professional help. Not every human being is able to find a new way of life within the current structure of treatment and maintenance of abstinence. 

     There is no one way to recover. Yet, one way to recover utilizing the twelve steps of various Anonymous programs is what is pushed by the addictions treatment industry.

     We have today other ways to develop social support systems-- there is Celebrate Recovery [for Christians], Secular Organizations for Sobriety [or s.o.s. for non-theists, and for those who may be religious but wish to separate their religious practices from their recovery program], the Red Road [for Native Americans], Women For Sobriety [for women], Double Trouble and Dual Recovery Anonymous [both organizations are for those who also have mental health diagnoses], Rational Recovery [for rational people], Drug Courts [for non-violent offenders-- which include may include attendance at support groups and rehabs and/or a residential program] and more. Some of the programs utilize re-written forms of the twelve steps. Others do not. And some people do maintain abstinence via their religious practices and no attendance at any sort of program.

     Some of us discover that a twelve step program is the only program available to us. Even if we are able to travel some distance to attend a meeting that is not X.A., non-X.A. meetings may not be held as often as we may like.  And yet, there are a number of people for whom a twelve step program is not sufficient, adequate, or appropriate. Fortunately, within the Interwebz, we can find others who are thriving outside of the 12 step rooms.

     The sorry state of treatment programs today does not allow for options other than the twelve steps. People are not told that there are other options or ways to recover. And as far as truly personalizing treatment to the individual addict, that does not usually exist. A few addicts may be lucky enough to land in a program that recognizes that medication-assisted recovery, concurrent mental health treatment, or harm-reduction strategies may be better suited for certain patients but that is not, generally speaking, the experience of many addicts who have sought treatment. And we just don't know enough of how to figure out which addicts will do best in which options. We need more research and more development of alternate resources for those seeking recovery today.

     The thing is, none of us practice recovery in the specific ways it was described in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are scattered groups of individuals who are attempting a return to A.A.'s early times. And that's cool.

     For some of us, that sort of thing is not appropriate or useful. We don't fit. We need the stuff that we resonate with, whether it is participation in X.A. as it has evolved in these times or some other form of social supports. And some addicts do not resonate with X.A. 

     We do not have to be addicts kept in uniforms lined up against the wall waiting for lunch to begin, as if we were still in a regimented high school. The unity of a healthy twelve step meeting is truly a wonder to behold. A healthy group acknowledges that we can practice our unity in spite of our differences.

     We are not all the same. Some addicts need something else in order to recover. So let's quit blaming them for failing out of what we have to offer. Treatment providers need to learn how to fit treatment to each individual addict rather than fitting each addict to their brand of treatment.

     I envision a place where the characteristics of each individual patient is respected and where patients are offered more than one way to recover. Someday, we will know enough to stop blaming those who fail out of the system and instead invest in research that will truly illuminate best practices in addiction treatment. Until then, more of us will die. 

sapphoq badly needing a coffee says: I count myself fortunate that I have been able to make a life for myself within the recovery landscape as it exists today in my geographical location. My hope is that all of us who seek a way out will indeed be able to discover a way out. But that isn't the way it is YET.

     
For information on how an atheist can remain abstinent in a twelve-step program, buy my e-book "Another Atheist in Recovery." If you aren't an atheist, then buy my e-book "Up the Rebels" which is a hacker/slacker kind of a novel.
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/SpikedUp-Frog?store=allproducts&keyword=SpikedUp+Frog
Neither e-book has DRM. They are written in ePub format which can be read on many readers and also on your computer via Calibre or other reading program [but not Adobe tm].
I support the torrents so if someone wants to make my e-books available to others for free, that would be really cool-- and supported by the Creative Commons license that I used.

Some Days are for Screaming

I made it with my legally obtained art-ware. If you want to use it for some reason or other, right-click to save to your computer. If you are the copyright monopoly nazis, you are not welcome here. So go away. Far away. Scum.

     Yesterday, I listened to yet another person in recovery wax on about Robin Williams and his suicide. It has now come that he had been diagnosed with Parkinson's and that his sobriety was "intact." In other words, he did not relapse. That is to say: his suicide by belt hanging was not because he drank, used, got high, got blasted, lapsed, relapsed, slipped, or anything else related to addiction.

     What I listened to I found to be deplorable on so many levels. There was shrink crap in there about how "suicide is an irrational decision," some other crap in there about how "suicide is selfish," and some morose crap in there about "what about the children?". What about the children? Seriously? wtf.

     The particular children being referenced were all the kids who ever watched a Robin Williams movie and now the dude is splitsville, gone, not suffering anymore. The "children" will have to get over it and keep on living, just like the rest of us.

     I could not sit there and allow the person to spread false info without saying nothing. It is truly pathetic that some percentage of us who are in recovery [and long-term recovery at that, not newbies] relate every trouble known to human beings to addiction. Not everything is about addiction. Not everything is about us. 

     I wanted to scream. [See taggie above]. I wanted to scream because once again, part of the recovery ramble was about how addiction and relapse caused an actor's suicide. 

     One of today's gatherings featured talk about how a few people are faking it. They say they are abstinent but they are not. Oh really? I was one of those at one time, early on. I omitted talking  about how I was getting high on reefer a bunch of times and drunk or trying to get drunk a couple of times. I lived anyways. When I was ready, I stopped all of it. I cannot claim sobriety if I am high. I cannot claim clean time if I am drunk. I count my abstinence from the last time I had anything. Period.

     Yes, people do lie. People by and large do the best they can with what they got. When people get enough support to quit their self-destruction and enough willingness to do the work, they turn around. I am no one's goddess. I cannot "make" someone want to quit. 

     I am not their probation officer, their physician, their shrink. I don't have to become emotionally over-invested into who is faking the program and who isn't. Mental masturbation. Fun but doesn't really take any of us anywhere.

          sapphoq itching for some strong coffee-- black please. No sugar or cream or substitutes.

April A B C in One Post

Addiction is what led me to recovery. My using [which includes the drinking of alcohol] kept getting worse. Never better. 
     Atheism is the end result of my believing. I came into recovery believing. By my second decade, I no longer believe in any sort of capital H Higher capital P Power. This seems to upset some people who insist that since I "talk to trees and nature" that I am "not really an atheist."
          I love Anonymous. Anonymous inspires me to hack my way into a better world. 

Brain Damage happened to me after many years in recovery due to a motor vehicle accident. The other driver was charged and convicted of attempted vehicular manslaughter. The brain I have now I named Briella-- still brilliant but a bit sideways.
     Birding was the first hobby I picked up after I stopped using. 
     Backpacking came soon after.
          My backyard is full of bees and I love them. 

Celebration: I celebrate every day that I am alive.
     I take care of my cats well enough. Toward the end of my run, there was one kitten that I knew was sick. Every day after work, I went out and got blasted instead of taking him to the vet. He died at the end of the week. I'm so sorry Sammy. I failed you. I cannot make that up to you. I can only do better with the cats that are in my life today.
     I went on a three week cross-country trip by myself and that was wonderful.
          Cory Doctorow is one of my favorite authors. He writes stuff that I can relate to. It's hacker-lit for me.

I have always loved dogs. The dog that was with me when I stopped using was ecstatic. I came home every day after work. I took him for regular walks instead of throwing him out the back door. We did stuff together on weekends.
     Dad came down with Lewey Body Dementia. Dementia sucks.
     I started doing digital art after my accident.
          Since my traumatic brain injury, I have learned that it takes courage to dream new dreams.

I used to have a bit of a problem with envy. I learned that anything worth having is worth working for. I no longer feel much envy. I'm too busy going after my goals to think much about what other people have.
     When I am happy, I sing along with my ear-worms.
          An e-reader gave me back the ability to read for more than a half-hour at a time. [After my car accident, I could not read for very long. With the e-reader, I can].

My grands had a dairy farm. I loved it there and I still miss the place.
     I got into having fish in tanks. But I wasn't any good at it. My housemate kept saying, "Don't you think those fish would have been better off if they never met you?"
     I switched to frogs. I love frogs. I have eight frogs right now. I've had up to thirty frogs at one time. 
          From watching Duck Dynasty, I learned the importance of family.
          My t.b.i. eye doc says, "Fatigue is the great enemy." That's true.

I used to manage group homes. I miss the people but not the agency.
     I used to go to the gym but I wasn't exercising enough there for the amount of food that I was eating. I gained a lot of weight during my time there.
          I joined a different gym in January. I now am striving to eat sensibly. I am not gaining weight this time. I do at least five machines and sixty to ninety minutes on the cardio machines five to six days a week. Although I have to nap after the workouts due to my severe fatigue, I like going to the gym.

I love herons and hawks. I've seen some really cool ones too.
     After my accident, I had a constant headache. I had to get blocks put in the back of my head [six needles on three separate occasions] to stop them. I felt so lousy that the needles felt good.
          I love my housemate.
          Hacking has taught me how to approach a problem logically.

Intelligence and intellectual pursuits are cool. I've noticed that there is substantial prejudice against t h i n k i n g expressed by some folks in recovery. I don't feel that way.
     Islands rock. I love islands.

I love jelly beans.
When I was in fifth grade, I discovered Jack London and I read every book of his that I could get my hands on. As a girl, no one was encouraging me. [It was a time when the topic of "electricity" was skipped over in the girls' science classes much to my dismay]. But I loved his writing.
I also read "Death Be Not Proud" a bit later on [John Gunther] when it came out.
     In Spanish class, I learned how to tell jokes.
          I like junk shops and fixing stuff I got for cheap.

We had a few kleptos in my high school class. I was a nervous thief and so I quickly quit that sort of thing. Plus one for anxiety.
     I was klutzy and last to be picked for any teams. 
     I hated kickball. I probably still do.

Laughter feels good to me.

I've been to Mexico a few times. I used to want to go live there. Now with all the violence from the drug cartels I've decided that Mexico is out for me.  
     I like the Old Quarter in Montreal.
     I've read practically everything that Mercedes Lackey has written. Talking "horses"? Yeah, bring 'em. 
          Monsanto sucks.

I'm a nature child.
     I miss New Orleans the way she used to be.
     I learned how to work on my self-esteem from Nathaniel Branden. 
          I love the ninjem on Twitter (r). Any ninja accounts that I come across, I follow. The ninjem are the ones having all the fun there. Everyone else is serious or fighting or both.

I've been known to over-eat [throughout my life] but I prefer to call myself a "foodie." I don't believe that obesity or addiction are "diseases." I consider them to be behavioral disorders. [I did the work and I am no longer obese].
     I have ocular-motor dysfunction due to traumatic brain injury. That means my eyes don't work well with my brain or with each other.
     O.V.R. was a complete waste of time for me. They've helped lots of [more traditional sorts of] people but not me. I dislike authoritarian approaches in general. They truly didn't "get me."
     I discovered Oliver Sacks and I love his writing. He is a neuro-doc with a heart. I'd love to have tea with him once and just talk about regular stuff but I think that won't ever happen. Drat.
          I am disgusted with the troubled teen industry. No one deserves abuse. Our teens are our future. So it's OpLiberation for me.

The phone phreaks taught me to play with technology.
     I have a "pagan soul" in me but no beliefs in any gods.

I like Quebec City and Queer Nation.

Regrets, yes I have them.
     I miss the magazine "Raw Vision." I like the artwork of the self-taught.

I dream in Spanish.
     I had fun in San Francisco.
     San Diego is a place that I can imagine myself living in. I love it there.
          Self-determination is one of my values. Too bad the recovery industry and the mental hell industry only give lip service to that idea.

I toured the Tuskeegee Institute. I never understood the big deal about Booker T. Washington and the peanuts until I went there and saw it for myself. The people there were real nice to me. If I ever get rich, I'd like to establish a scholarship so kids can go there.
     I love to travel, especially on trains.

I want to learn how to ride a unicycle.

Violets are pretty flowers. I refuse to have a "chemical lawn" because the crap they spray on the lawn kills the violets. Plus there is a bunch of other reasons not to do that. Besides, if you mow it all down once in awhile, it's green anyways. [Actually, I am working on killing the lawn gradually and replacing it with better stuff].

In recovery, I re-discovered the woods. Being in the woods clean is a very different experience from being in the woods blasted.
     Words have always fascinated me.
     Writing is my life.

Some people are xenophobic and some aren't. Xenophobia cannot be attributed to everyone who is against civil rights for all civils. 

I love yarrow.

Zoos are pretty cool. Many zoos are actually on the cutting edge of conservation. One zoo that I've been to, I thought should be shut down. [...Hello Utica Zoo with your plastic playthings for your primates]. The best zoo I've ever been to was in San Diego. Even the herps were happy. 

                        ~ the end for now ~
     

The Fast Food Wars and Exactly Who Is Responsible When We Eat Too Much

N.B.: The words "drug addiction" in this post will include the drug alcohol, as well as street drugs and those prescription drugs that people become addicted to.

     Some time ago, the insurance companies balked at paying for in-patient rehabs for people who were declared by professionals to be in need of treatment for their drug addiction. I viewed this as partly the fault of the rehabs themselves because everyone who was admitted got a twenty eight day program automatically. It was easier to convince staff that one needed an "extension" [a longer stay at the institution] than it was to convince staff that one was ready to be sprung before the scheduled time was up. It was not surprising when the H.M.O.s clamped down. In spite of the protests and tears generated by overly concerned paid professional helpers and profit-driven administrators, list of patients were gone through at treatment team meetings and a few folks were discharged early. Staff became devious skilled with their charting. Notes indicated that their people needed to stay the full twenty eight. Written signs of progress were no longer recorded. [N.B. I worked at a rehab. I saw this with my own eyes]. Staff by and large became concern trolls who were terrified at the prospects of anyone on their caseload being sent out into the cold, cruel world before readiness could be clinically established. There was no criteria for discharge. 

     In the time before there were rehabs and treatment facilities sprinkled all over America, the insurance companies did not want to pay for treatment for drunks, never mind those addicts who admitted to using street drugs. Politics happened and alcoholism was officially declared to be 'a disease' by the American Medical Association in 1956 so that physicians and treatment providers could be paid by the medical insurance companies. [see this: http://www2.potsdam.edu/alcohol/Controversies/Is-Alcoholism-a-Disease.html#.Uv2Is_ldXfI for one such view which also quotes the A.M.A. website in full. Also there, see footnote number 28]. Twelve step programs all over jumped on the disease bandwagon. 

     In 2013, The A.M.A. declared obesity to be a disease. [In 1998, the National Institutes of Health did so. [See this article for more: http://www.amednews.com/article/20130701/house/130709952/1/]. I have recently been 'treated' to a television commercial that staunchly maintained that obesity is indeed 'a disease.' My best guess informs me that this was done for similar reasons-- so that those providing treatment [including but not limited to surgical procedures such as lap bands, sleeves, and gastric bypasses] can be paid by the medical insurance companies.

     Frankly, I maintain with vigor that any sort of addiction or habituation is not in and of itself 'a disease.' I view all addictions as being conditions which may or may not have a disease process. This allows for a certain percentage of people who discover that they can indeed engage in their special hobby socially and safely at some time after their exposure to the addiction industry. Those people do exist, in spite of protestations otherwise. I suspect that usually by the time that someone comes to the attention of law enforcement personnel or medical personnel due to the effects of his or her special hobby-- be it over-eating, over-drinking, over-drugging, over-gambling, over-sexing, or any other overage-- it is most probably too late for that patient to moderate. That is only my opinion which means that I may be wrong.

     Addictions by their very nature have multiple and varying etiologies. Some folks started doing something too much because there is an obsessive side to their nature. Others report that their home lives were miserable or that they lacked the tools to effectively deal with some sort of major challenge presented to them so their special hobby raged out of control. There may be a genetic link to addictions in some people but we do not know that yet. [In an extremely general way, the younger someone is when a chronic condition develops, the more likely it is that a genetic component exists.] I've heard people identifying peer pressure, abuse, poverty, an un-diagnosed psych condition, grief, traumatic brain injury, a desire to fit in, genetics, and environment as various causes of their particular addiction. Any of these things may be causative, or they may be triggers [rather than causative] which pushed them beyond the point of social acceptability.

     When I was in my heyday of prolific partying, absolutely no one forced me to ingest any substance that I did not want to ingest. No one forced me to drink or use other drugs. I did that to myself. I did not wake up one day and declare to myself that I was going to strive to become addicted. I did enough of the stuff that I was doing to cause my body to warp out and I became physically addicted. At first, I was relieved to be deprived of the responsibility of what I had done to myself. I was told that I did not "do this" to myself. I was encouraged to believe that if my addiction did not happen as young as it did, it would have happened at any time that I started to drink or use socially later on in life. There was no way out of this being an addict. I was a victim of biology, or perhaps of a neurological process that demanded that I destroy myself through chemicals. I was slated to be trapped in addiction and that was the way of it. 

     I have a problem with that sort of excuse-making now. Anyone who used as much alcohol, pot, hash, pills, and other stuff as I did was bound to have problems. My using became just another problem on a long list of problems that I had. I suspect that had I not been in such a rush to alter my state of being with substances outside of myself, perhaps I would not have become an addict. I still think that if I had the gumption to directly address the problems that I was having as a young adult, perhaps my story would have had a different ending. But I didn't and my history is what it is.

     There was no return to social using for me. The moment I got my hands on as much as I wanted to drink or drug, I was off to the races. I tried to moderate my intake. I was not successful, period. 

     Most people are not addicted. The vast majority of people are not addicted to drugs, gambling, sex, food, or any other sort of physical thing or process. That is one thing that we do know. And just because I cannot safely do something, it does not follow that no one should do it. Thus, I am in favor of legalizing marijuana [especially since the drug cartels in Mexico stand to lose significant amounts of American cash if pot is legalized] and I am strongly against regulating what we eat via anti-obesity laws or fat taxes.

     During the times in my life that I have been overweight, I was the one who chose to eat more and exercise less if at all. No one forced me to consume massive quantities of food, period. There is not a commercial written that was capable of compelling me to go down to the local fast food shop and super-sizing everything that I ordered if I did not want to do so. I had to have the desire first. A commercial [maybe] might have struck a sympathetic chord in me which 'made me' crave something laden in salt, sugar, and fat. If I didn't have it in me to over-eat, no one or nothing could have forced me to do so. At the times in my life when I wanted to mess up my body via over-consumption of food, I did not care about the consequences.

     When someone like me is determined to give in to stuffing myself with something [alcohol, other drugs, or food], I don't think things like "I'll lose my health, my relationships, and life as I know it now if I do so." A fat tax will not stop me from consuming junk if I want to do that to myself. The law means nothing to me when I want to get f'd up. What stops me is me.

     Any changes that any of us make-- in order to be long-lasting changes-- are fueled with our desire to have something better or different or other than what we have now. We are not hapless victims of our environment. We are not incapable of taking care of ourselves. As adults, we have rights and responsibilities. When we do not take responsibility for our own lives, we become proficient in the language of victimology. To be sure, some of us had been victims of crimes committed against us. Part of recovery is to move beyond the state of victimhood into survivor mode and then into the state of thriving. Being stuck in the role of a victim limits us from experiencing the wonders of living. [Note: And we also become boring to others when we cannot successfully integrate and then move beyond the trauma.] When we refuse self-responsibility, we invite others to dictate to us how we ought to live. By necessity, that dictation is not self-affirming.

     By anecdotal evidence only, there were times when I wondered if treatment staff were collectively suffering from a group form of oppositional-defiant disorder. A mental health client wants a therapist of one gender and is automatically assigned a therapist of the other. An in-patient at the local hospital or addictions treatment center wants to go home and is pressured into entering a halfway house-- or a community residence if there is a 'serious behavioral health diagnosis'-- instead. Someone decides to return to school for pre-med. He or she wants to be a shrink. Oh no, you cannot handle that. Here's a job at a factory putting together urinary catheter bags. Fascinating stuff really. Take that job. You can start next week. I've seen things like this happen over and over again. I hope it's just my geographical location where helping professionals are like this but I don't think so.

     Now we have the increasing presence of a Spy Nation. First, build a huge facility to store all of the meta-data being collected on each one of us. Then carefully explain that it's really nothing. First, disarm as many citizens as possible. Then keep vast records on those who have guns. First, mess up the Internet. Then tell us that the censorship is really for our own good. First, make fast food the bogeyman. Then pass laws dictating what and how much we should eat. It didn't work during Prohibition. It's not going to work now.

     We live in a place that does not distinguish between hunger and over-eating. Here's a clue. I did not over-eat out of hunger. Most fat people also do not over-eat due to hunger or even due to concerns about when and where the next meal will come from. I did not come from an over-eating family. [I don't know what percentage of foodies do.] We are not so utterly powerless over our impulses that we are victimized by the advertisement budgets of the fast food restaurants in our neighborhood. No amount of laws or fat taxes is going to make a dent into the 'obesity epidemic' that we are facing in the United States. 

     If you want me to change, you have to give me some good reasons why I ought to change. You have to convince me to change. You have to get my attention. If your message is dull, I won't listen to you. If you take away my ability to order a large soft drink, I will find a way to drink as much of that soft drink if I want to. If you complain about the calories in a coffee-flavored drink with whipped cream available at a fast food chain but say nothing about the calories in a similar drink offered at the local upscale Starpukes, I will laugh at you and call you a hypocrite. Figuring that I should eat a diet chock-full of legumes, veggies, selected carbs, chicken and fish ignores the fact that I am allergic to fish and the fact that I have to eat beef three times a week in order to hold iron deficient anemia at bay. If you endeavor to tell me what to eat, I will ignore you and mock you. If you endeavor to tell me what to think, I will inform you that this is my life and not yours.


           


References:

my three favorites among the stuff I read:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-junk-food-can-end-obesity/309396/?single_page=true

http://www.forbes.com/sites/paulroderickgregory/2013/09/23/the-problem-is-obesity-not-hunger-thoughts-on-the-food-stamps-debate/

http://www.iwf.org/files/ab250f06f05ee349a5c2347d6c5a926b.pdf



the rest:

http://money.howstuffworks.com/fat-tax.htm

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/11/05/americans-obesity-rate/1684507/

http://www.nber.org/bah/2009no1/w14721.html

http://www.debate.org/opinions/do-you-think-fast-food-restaurants-are-responsible-for-child-obesity

http://watchdog.org/100330/have-at-it-would-a-fast-food-tax-help-or-hurt-the-poor/

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/kyle-drennen/2010/11/09/cbs-government-needed-stop-fast-food-industry-wants-get-kids-hooked

http://www.cnbc.com/id/101322761


and the worst of the bunch that I read, i.m.o.:

https://www.commondreams.org/view/2013/02/11-8

http://www.studentpulse.com/articles/320/the-obesity-epidemic-in-america-and-the-responsibility-of-big-food-manufacturers

http://www.stopcorporateabuse.org/sites/default/files/resources/slowing_down_fast_food_corporateaccountabilityinternational.pdf

http://www.seriouseats.com/2013/07/usda-bans-junk-food-schools-help-fight-obesity.html

http://content.healthaffairs.org/content/22/6/207.full

http://frac.org/initiatives/hunger-and-obesity/why-are-low-income-and-food-insecure-people-vulnerable-to-obesity/

http://www.foodispower.org/fast-food/

How Not to Get People Motivated for Recovery from Addictions

Here is a somewhat incomplete list of what to do if you do not want someone to stop some sort of addictive behavior and get healthy.  Or if you want them to flee from your version of recovery back into the streets and possibly to die.

If you don't want them to get into recovery or remain in recovery, then you will:

 1.  Dictate who they can talk to on the telephone or write letters to or hang out with.

 2.  Tell them exactly what they "need to" do in order to get as "healthy" as you are.

 3.  Pull rank.  Remind them that they are problem people and that you have the answers.

 4.  Quote from recovery literature extensively, force them to read it, and teach them how to talk in clichés and platitudes.

 5.  Insist that you know what they need better than they do and insist that you know them better than they do.

 6.  Force them to find a male god similar to or the same as your god whether they are non-theists, polytheists, or other.

 7.  Demand that they "forgive" everyone who abused them in any way and demand that they talk about "their part" in the abuse.

 8.  Show them what "Tough Love" is-- even though you yourself know nothing about the history of the "Tough Love" movement or what an abomination it is-- and show them how to apply "Tough Love" to everyone else around them.

 9.  Take away their privacy.  Living in a fishbowl is oh so healthy.

10.  Give them a damning psychiatric diagnosis that will follow them for the rest of their lives, preferably one that ends with the phrase "personality disorder."


sapphoq itching for a coffee   

 

When a friend heads back into addiction

Art is still drinking and still claiming that his drinking is not a problem.  Art has not drank in front of me.  And there are no bottles at his home.  Perhaps he is only drinking at camp.  I don't really know.

Art's personality is not being improved by his intake of the drug alcohol.  That is for sure.  I've noted a ruder and cruder Art emerging over coffee in the last week.  Consequently, I've had to make a tough decision.

Art has to go.  Or, to put it another way, I have to make myself scarce as far as Art is concerned.  I have found myself mourning the friendship that we have shared over the past decade or more.  We've had lots of good times, he and I.  We've done quite a bit of traveling and drank quite a bit of coffee together.  But that is done for now.

I cannot jeopardize my own well-being for the sake of another.  Art is not an evil human being.  At this time, I cannot afford to hang with him.  Art has returned to a past lifestyle.  I cannot do that.  I don't want to be around the drama that is Art when he uses.  When and if Art is ready to quit using again, someone else will have to help him.  We've been too close.  I can't do it.  There are other people that I can have coffee with and travel with and have good times with.

We become what we do.  And we become again what we do again.  I wish to journey forward as a human being, not backwards into the bondage that is true addiction.

          Where's the coffee?

A Progress Report ... Regarding Food

This is an open letter progress report about some changes in my thinking and actions regarding food:

     I never wanted to write this sort of thing.  I always thought that the rehab exercises in which countless addicts are told to write a goodbye to drugs letter was rather corny.  I think the word "addict"-- like the word "addiction"-- is grossly over-used.  Addiction has a precise meaning yet even the professionals among us often use that word when the word "habituation" would serve better and more accurately.  

     Although I have resorted to some of the language I know best, I draw the line at labeling myself an "overeater" or a "food addict."  Those words do not begin to describe my relationship to food or my behavior adequately.  At times I have restricted my intake, especially when I was "dieting" in TOPS.  The numbers on the scale did not dictate my emotions so much as they dictated what my eating habits looked like for several days before each weigh-in.  At other times, I have eaten more than my share as if a great hunger had taken over my being.  At still other times, I ate too much junk and not enough nutritious food.  And sometimes, I have forgotten to eat.  My eating had range to it.  Sometimes too much.  Sometimes too little.  Sometimes an average amount.  

     Forget the disease concept.  I don't believe that addiction of any sort is a "disease."  The disease concept grew out of a need for insurance companies to foot the bill for all of those expensive treatment centers and rehabs that sprung up in the heyday of booming companies invested in making money from the hoards of people who needed to stop and from some folks who genuinely wanted to stop.  I am not a consistent over-eater.  I am not a food addict.  I don't have yet another politicized blasted disease.  I have some really bad dietary habits which have needed intense correction for some time.  I have a condition.  I've had an unhealthy and immature relationship with food.  I am a Foodie.

     The vast majority of people don't have problems when they drink socially or use socially [and yes, I believe that people can and do use socially] or when they fill a script.  But some people do have problems when they do these things.  If they catch themselves early enough, they are able to moderate or stop their habituation.  Those who don't continue on into genuine addiction.  Of those who are successful at quitting, they learn that they can live successful lives without using alcohol or street drugs and without abusing prescription drugs.  Food isn't exactly like that.  We cannot really do without it.

     Many years before I had heard of TOPS, I had tried O.A.  The people who attended the meetings that I'd gone to were all abstinent from certain foods.  Some eliminated-- or attempted to eliminate-- all sugars.  Some spoke about dumping all carbs.  Others added beef to that list.  Still others, salt.  And so on.  I had a sense that there was something about having a list of forbidden foods was not healthy in and of itself.  I knew that we need some carbs, some protein, a few fats, some dairy in our diets.  I went on my way and never looked back.  My food list at the time included a certain regular brown soda, sugar, chocolate, chinese beef brown broth, ice cream, bread in any form, salt.  That list was to change throughout the years.

     I've come to understand that the problem for me is more complex than any singular or multiple categories of food.  The problem isn't even food itself.  My problem is that I like to eat.  The recent diabetes scare was enough to motivate me to truly change my eating habits.  I was no longer interested in having a list of healthy foods and a list of foods to be avoided or to cut out completely.  I wanted to eliminate or at least mitigate my unhealthy eating-disordered behaviors.  And I've stuck with that.  My focus is not on "I can eat this, but not that."  In continuing to strive to change my relationship with food, I have discovered that it is my habits that need re-vamping.

     I eat breakfast and lunch now daily.  [Skipping dinner is not one of my problems].  I've upped my intake of green vegetables and fruits.  I don't restrict my eating anymore because I know that I will be weighed in a few days.  I endeavor to eat a protein whenever I reach for a carb.  I eat a tablespoon full of cottage cheese most nights before bedtime.  And I continue to exercise regularly, whether I want to or not.  My sweet tooth is very much alive although I have found that fruit satisfies it.  I don't treat myself with a sugary food or more on a daily basis.  

     In changing my eating behaviors, my relationship to food has changed.  I have re-learned that in order to change my thinking, I have to change my behavior.  Some folks report that they can do it the other way around.  I am not able to.  It is action that gives life, not just thoughts.  Here are my "ifs" that I live by:  

          If I could think myself into better circumstances I would      
  have done so long ago.
          If I want something different, I have to do something 
  different.
          If I wait until I "feel well enough" to do something, I'll be 
  waiting the rest of my life.

I don't identify thinking as positive or negative.  I have borrowed a bit of buddhist thought.  I refer to my thinking as right thinking and wrong thinking.  Right thinking can be positive or negative.  Wrong thinking is not practical or logical.  I continue to eliminate any remnants of magical thinking through any means necessary other than magical thinking.

     This isn't really a "goodbye to food" letter.  It is a progress report of sorts.  I made allowances the other day in my food plan to allow for a small treat.  The world did not fall over.  I did not go home and immediately consume hideous amounts of pastries or chocolate.  [The treat was a salted caramel tart with a chocolate shell.  It was delicious!].  I was not bothered by earth-shattering cravings.  I enjoyed my bit of dessert and then my life continued.

     There is something about moderation which calling myself an "over-eater" or a "food addict" would not have allowed for.  Moderation is possible when it comes to food and in fact is to be encouraged [unless a medical professional advises otherwise].  I am not interested in restricting my food intake for several days before the weekly weigh-ins at TOPS or in restricting myself from certain categories of food as is commonly done in the O.A. meetings that I have experienced.  I want the health benefits that are to be had by engaging in mindful eating.

sapphoq itching for a black coffee with no sugar or white stuff in it 

Happy Anniversary to Me

29 years of freedom from bondage to active drug addiction arrived this morning at 10:18 am.

spike