Unity or Uniformity

     Twelve step programs-- although very much retaining the monopoly on what the majority of American treatment and rehabs offer in terms of how to maintain abstinence-- may not be the best fit for every patient or client or participant seeking to get free from addiction. This is something that we often ignore while bemoaning those who have darkened the doorways of 'our' meetings [and 'our' treatment facilities, if we happen to be staff at one of them] who went back out or continued to use. We are so fond of claiming that various addictions are now a disease of some sort. 

     What kind of people are we when we blame the patient for failing to gain or regain health after one or more bouts with a disease?

     When a cancer patient gets sicker and dies in spite of the chemo or radiation, do we blame the patient?

     When someone gripped in the natural course of a non-reversible dementia progresses and dies in spite of medical interventions, do we blame the patient?

     And yet, the addict seeking help is blamed for his or her return to active addiction. [I use addict to also include those who are addicted to alcohol]. What gives? Maybe we don't really believe in the disease concept. [Okay, I don't. I don't claim acceptance of the disease concept which seems to have swept the addiction treatment industry by storm].

     The problem does not lay in how we define addiction. Whether it is a medical condition with multiple etiologies and a disease-like progression, an actual disease, something else entirely, or a combination of these things is not something that I am taking issue with in this particular blog post. 

     While how we define addiction certainly does determine whether or not insurance companies will pay for treatment, it is not really at the crux of the problem. The problem is the low success rate ascribed to addicts seeking recovery. When making a decision related to my health, I seek out more than one option. And when the success rate for an option presented to me is described as anywhere from ten percent to just under thirty-four percent, I certainly do my research. I want the odds to be in my favor. In cases of severe and/or chronic and/or terminal diseases or conditions, there may not be better odds or very many viable options. Science offers us the opportunity to discover and describe best practices in medicine.

     In the United States, I think what we are suffering from is a lack of rigorous research into the multiple causes of addiction, treatment options, and how to determine the best fit for each client or patient. Twelve step programs have aided many of us in changing our lives thereby enabling us to become and remain abstinent. Yet, some percentage of people fail out of meetings with or without adjunct professional help. Not every human being is able to find a new way of life within the current structure of treatment and maintenance of abstinence. 

     There is no one way to recover. Yet, one way to recover utilizing the twelve steps of various Anonymous programs is what is pushed by the addictions treatment industry.

     We have today other ways to develop social support systems-- there is Celebrate Recovery [for Christians], Secular Organizations for Sobriety [or s.o.s. for non-theists, and for those who may be religious but wish to separate their religious practices from their recovery program], the Red Road [for Native Americans], Women For Sobriety [for women], Double Trouble and Dual Recovery Anonymous [both organizations are for those who also have mental health diagnoses], Rational Recovery [for rational people], Drug Courts [for non-violent offenders-- which include may include attendance at support groups and rehabs and/or a residential program] and more. Some of the programs utilize re-written forms of the twelve steps. Others do not. And some people do maintain abstinence via their religious practices and no attendance at any sort of program.

     Some of us discover that a twelve step program is the only program available to us. Even if we are able to travel some distance to attend a meeting that is not X.A., non-X.A. meetings may not be held as often as we may like.  And yet, there are a number of people for whom a twelve step program is not sufficient, adequate, or appropriate. Fortunately, within the Interwebz, we can find others who are thriving outside of the 12 step rooms.

     The sorry state of treatment programs today does not allow for options other than the twelve steps. People are not told that there are other options or ways to recover. And as far as truly personalizing treatment to the individual addict, that does not usually exist. A few addicts may be lucky enough to land in a program that recognizes that medication-assisted recovery, concurrent mental health treatment, or harm-reduction strategies may be better suited for certain patients but that is not, generally speaking, the experience of many addicts who have sought treatment. And we just don't know enough of how to figure out which addicts will do best in which options. We need more research and more development of alternate resources for those seeking recovery today.

     The thing is, none of us practice recovery in the specific ways it was described in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are scattered groups of individuals who are attempting a return to A.A.'s early times. And that's cool.

     For some of us, that sort of thing is not appropriate or useful. We don't fit. We need the stuff that we resonate with, whether it is participation in X.A. as it has evolved in these times or some other form of social supports. And some addicts do not resonate with X.A. 

     We do not have to be addicts kept in uniforms lined up against the wall waiting for lunch to begin, as if we were still in a regimented high school. The unity of a healthy twelve step meeting is truly a wonder to behold. A healthy group acknowledges that we can practice our unity in spite of our differences.

     We are not all the same. Some addicts need something else in order to recover. So let's quit blaming them for failing out of what we have to offer. Treatment providers need to learn how to fit treatment to each individual addict rather than fitting each addict to their brand of treatment.

     I envision a place where the characteristics of each individual patient is respected and where patients are offered more than one way to recover. Someday, we will know enough to stop blaming those who fail out of the system and instead invest in research that will truly illuminate best practices in addiction treatment. Until then, more of us will die. 

sapphoq badly needing a coffee says: I count myself fortunate that I have been able to make a life for myself within the recovery landscape as it exists today in my geographical location. My hope is that all of us who seek a way out will indeed be able to discover a way out. But that isn't the way it is YET.

     
For information on how an atheist can remain abstinent in a twelve-step program, buy my e-book "Another Atheist in Recovery." If you aren't an atheist, then buy my e-book "Up the Rebels" which is a hacker/slacker kind of a novel.
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/SpikedUp-Frog?store=allproducts&keyword=SpikedUp+Frog
Neither e-book has DRM. They are written in ePub format which can be read on many readers and also on your computer via Calibre or other reading program [but not Adobe tm].
I support the torrents so if someone wants to make my e-books available to others for free, that would be really cool-- and supported by the Creative Commons license that I used.

Atheists in Recovery and the Fundy Factor

N.B. Absolutely no disrespect is intended to those of my close friends who identify as Christian, born-again Christian, fundamentalist Christian, or literal Christian. This piece is more a reflection on discrimination in the rooms of recovery directed at non-believers on the part of the more radical fundamentalist Christians who disrupt meetings with preaching and exhortation.
     I love my conservative Christian friends. Period.

     Yes, we do exist. Maybe we never believed in any gods and came in not believing. Maybe we decided we didn't believe during adulthood and also came in not believing. Maybe we came in believing but in the course of our recovery embraced atheism. [I fit into the third category].

     Some newcomers are mad at their god or gods. They usually calm down after a bit and manage to forgive their deity or deities. They are not seeking information about atheism and that is their right. Some newcomers may have never been exposed to any teachings about divinity. Upon discovering that sort of thing, they become believers. That is also their right.

      I am an atheist. I have thirty-four years of continuous clean time. The myth that "You must have a capital H Higher capital P Power" is a myth. There are more of us. I am not alone.

     The steps were written to be suggestions only. Check the writings of Bill W. as expressed in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous if you don't believe me. Bill W. also gave permission for the first Buddhist group to change the word "God" in the twelve steps to the word "good." See page 81.

     I don't pray. I don't meditate. I am not spiritual. I don't do woo woo. I had to rewrite the steps in order to be able to remain in recovery. And yes, I am very much in recovery.

     Meetings vary according to geography. That is to be expected. In our area, there has been an increase in the expression of fundamentalist Christianity. I went to an A.A. meeting yesterday where an outspoken fundy got a few friends to chant "May you find Him now" and "God could and would if He were sought" during the reading of How It Works. Annoying? Well, yes. Also annoying is when the fundy chairs and absolutely refuses to call on me. For my part, I choose my battles today. Being ignored at a meeting by the chair is not such a big deal. The funny thing is, the fundy is an excellent chair who keeps the meeting moving and on track.

     N.A. meetings here are traditionally more free-wheeling. But even there, I have been told things like "You're not a true atheist. You believe in the woods." [Huh?]

     Alanon and Overeaters Anonymous have also fallen to the fundy factor round here. CoDA is a bit more lax. I haven't been to Gamblers Anonymous or to NicA. [No, I don't qualify for every XA program. They do have open meetings]. ACOA and ACA meetings are too full of pain and anguish for me to even consider going to them. Dual Recovery Anonymous has substituted "God of our understanding" but that program too has more religious members than not. I've been to meetings across the country and the fundy factor is not as evident in some of those. 

     It has never been my intention to convert people to atheism. And I refuse to do that now. The problem is when there is an overmuch of fundy talk, some new people are driven away. I do believe in equal time. At meetings when the fundy factor gets out of control, when it is my turn to talk [if I am not ignored by the one fundy chair] I let people know that belief is not required in order to work a solid program. Yes, sincere atheists in the rooms do tend to seek me out.

     I read a joke on-line recently while doing research for a small e-book I am writing about being an atheist in recovery. 

Question: If you object to all of the God talk, why do you attend meetings?
Answer: I am part of the Newcomer Rescue Squad.

sapphoq needing coffee says: I don't exactly feel that way but there are days when I am getting closer.

The Care and Feeding of Drama Llamas

     The drama llama is a hybrid of human being crossed with the obnoxious kind of interwebz troll. Known to hang out in such venues as chat boards, social media blogs, high schools, and extended family holiday dinners, their numbers are spreading. Like mythical dragons scorching the populace with their fiery breath, drama llamas make their presence known by their highly volatile spittle. Chronometer results of their saliva indicate the exclusive presence of drama. Even in the test tube, this drama shrieks and has been known to pierce more than one scientist's eardrum. 

     Drama llamas have been recently making their presence known in twelve step rooms. They stand up during a meeting and begin to pontificate loudly about how the world has done them wrong. The world is usually given a specific name of a human being somewhere who may have not greeted them with the profound respect they deserve, looked at them cross-eyed, sneezed in their presence, or made a joke. Making a joke involving drama llamas is the most serious of offences.

     The hapless chairperson is unable to shut up a drama llama. Pounding a gavel feeds the fury.  People who wish to exit the rooms to the relative safety of the parking lots and streets find their way blocked by a pacing beastie and their admirers. The wrath of a drama llama is most serious business.

     While the drama llamas occur in all stages of recovery, their hapless admirers usually have less than a year in. The fans punctuate the performance of a drama llama in full regalia with shouts of "Amen," "Tell it," and "Free yourself." Once the fans begin to add to the ruckus, the atmosphere of recovery implodes.

     Here are some suggestions for the involuntary audience of a drama llama:

1.  Don't make eye contact.

2.  Don't join the fans.

3.  Don't nod in agreement with any valid point.

4.  If you are able to exit safely, do so.

5.  Crowding into a locked bathroom or climbing out the window is permitted. 

6.  Restrain your impulses to curse out a drama llama.

7.  Killing or maiming a drama llama-- regardless of how justified such action may be-- will only result in you becoming their legal victim. Hands off!

     Once a drama llama has converted meeting space into a stage, it is too late to restore the atmosphere of recovery until the next meeting. The only piece of good news is that the drama llama is likely not to attend a meeting in the same place for several days, years, or lifetimes after his or her performance. For that, you can be grateful.

sapphoq itching for a coffee says: Drama llamas are frustrated folks who have never been discovered and whisked away into stardom. Falling into the trap of believing that you are part drama llama yourself because you object to them holding a meeting hostage is not accurate thinking. Sometimes, people really do exhibit strange or injurious behaviors independent of your own personal flaws and liabilities.   

     



References:




If that does not work, the direct link is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djtYkAb2dmA

https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Drama_Llama

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=drama+llama

Gossiping Our Way Through Recovery

     I celebrate everyone who finds recovery through the drug court system. In the rooms of recovery, it ought not to matter who we are or how we got here. All of us were mandated. I was mandated by a dog who did not like me staying away from home for twenty two hours at a time. Other people were mandated by drug courts, family courts, husbands, wives, lovers, children, and others.

     None of us came into recovery smiling and full of grace. All of us were worn and ragged about the edges. We too could not sit still, fidgeted, talked during the meetings to those sitting next to us, got up to go to the bathroom or roam around. There are a few folks still alive who remember when I first ventured into a meeting. And I remember when most of the rest of us in our area first came in. None of us were looking too good. Nor were we good actors.

African Grey Parrot on a ladder with head down, caption reads "bad bird."

      In our area, there has been a division. There are folks who will no longer attend the meetings being held at a local outpatient treatment program strictly because "so many drug court people are there." That is their choice. 

"Emily has cooties" chalked on old tarmac.

     Of those with time who do attend the meetings where there has been an influx of people who are legally mandated, there are some of us who run our mouths off. And we have no business doing that. Even worse, there are a few who report back to legal officials who was at a particular meeting and what they talked about. This is wrong.

Halloween zombie half buried in the snow with a long tongue sticking out. Caption reads "GOSSIP is UGLY."

     When people have paper over their heads, a few misplaced words could land them into jail or prison. If you have a beef with someone who is in the legal system, you have no right to call someone up and say things like "This one has a bad attitude" or "That one does not sit still at meetings."

     It is the fault of counselors, probation and parole officers, and drug court officials who listen to your crap. But it is also your fault. Clean your own house.

Up close of dustballs with caption "Do your housework. Dustballs evolve."

     ~ where's that coffee? ~  

p.s. Pictures are captioned with description for low vision readers. If you want any of them, right-click to save to your computer. You can also use them in social media, although I don't know why you would want to. 
      For the Big Hollywood idiots: I took and altered these photos myself with my legally obtained cheap digital camera and software. So go away.